About
We started with one question: what if a coffee brand felt like Pride, zine culture, and a slutty wink all at once?
The answer is this loud fake cafe that serves confidence by the cup and refuses to be polite about it.
Phase 1
One late-night thread, six voice notes, and a shared hatred of beige branding.
Phase 2
Club flyers, disco posters, and enough color to make neutral websites sweat.
Phase 3
Explicit, consensual, playful, and zero shame about wanting pleasure and caffeine.
Phase 4
Make adults feel seen, sexy, and fully awake before noon.
Founder / Roast Curator
Treats espresso pulls like drag reveals and never misses with eyeliner or banter.
Music + Vibe Control
Designs playlists that start in disco and end in shirtless emotional healing.
Pastry Witch
Bakes desserts with slut energy and a strict "no boring texture" policy.
Night Shift Host
Runs late service with charm, shade, and immaculate pronoun etiquette.
Most cafe brands chase safe. We chase sensation. Every word, visual, and drink name is there to feel alive, queer, and impossible to confuse with anybody else.
Consent is mandatory.
Inclusivity is non-negotiable.
Cash tips are sacred.
Order your drink like you mean it.
